I'm coming to the realization that I don't want to go to school to become an art teacher, and I don't know whether it's because my classes are so awful I find myself hardly going, or because I truly want to become an entrepreneur and open my shop of things I make. I feel like the norm is to go to college for 4 years, graduate, and get a normal job. But what if that's not what I want? Of course I love learning about art, but my classes are so dry, and the projects allow barely any creativity that I feel my love for art slipping away. I don't want to go to school for two more years and spend a lot of money on a degree for something I don't really want to do. I hope that I sound reasonable- and not like I have no idea what I'm saying.
I'm currently going to a county college and need to take two more summer classes to graduate. I know I can push myself to finish this and get my Associates degree, but I don't know if I can push myself to take out a student loan for a TON of money for the school I would go on to for a degree I am so unsure of.
I feel like all of this has been sucking the life out of me- though it shouldn't. I've always been a really good student with all A's and the occasional B. This semester I feel like I don't even care. It's just that awful. And I feel like it's affecting everything else in my life. Things just don't feel the same to me- and my hatred of my school has caused a couple fights with Brian, who loves his classes and his major and can't seem to understand how I am so uncaring about mine.
If you read all of this know how much I appreciate it. Seriously, thank you. I kind of just needed to get this off my chest. I feel like the only person in the world right now who feels this way, and everyone I talk to doesn't seem to understand. I've been too stressed to really update this blog with too many happy things, so now maybe you can see why. I didn't go back and correct this post or anything so sorry if there is a ton of errors, it all just came out like word vomit..